What happens and what we perceive

My name was taken out of the project. I am a good for nothing person. I am set up for failure.”

She did not call me on my birthday. She does not like me.”

He did not take my call. He is moving away.”

All my past relationships failed. This one too shall.

Something happens. And we create a story.

In the first instance, the person’s name could have been taken out of the project because his skill sets did not match the needs of the project. Does it mean he is a good for nothing person?

In the second instance, the person could have simply forgotten your birthday. After all, we have all become slaves for facebook to remember important dates. And your birthday was hidden on facebook.

In the third instance, he was dealing with an emergency when you called. But the moment he picked the call to explain, you put on your fears on to him.

In the fourth instance, something happened in the past. There is a remote possibility that it shall happen again. But by reinforcing this, you are defining your future possibilities with your past.

Things happen. And we create stories. In the process, we

-Ruin relationships

-Ruin our own self perception

-Accept defeat even even when we are still fighting the battle

-Form opinions and then make it a self fulfilling prophecy

The first time her mother slapped her, she formed a story. “My mother is very strict.” Then she never remembered the instances when her mother behaved like a friend to her. But only those which confirmed to her story that her mother was strict. The story became a reality.

The first time his girl friend shouted at him, he formed a story. “She gets angry very quickly and her anger can ruin our relationship.” Then he never registered the times when she cared enough for her. But only those when she was angry. It did not matter if her anger had anything to do with her fears or anything. The story was formed and only strengthened. No points in guessing what happened to this possibility of a beautiful relationship.

Let an incidence just be an incidence. Let it not create stories for you. Do not live a life of assumptions.

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Author of "My Beloved's MBA Plans", "Because Life Is A Gift" & "Corporate Avatars"

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